SHARPEN YOUR KNIVES OR LIFT SOME WEIGHTS

So after almost eight years of living half of each year in Park City, Utah I need to ask what is the deal with your pizzerias?  I have not ordered a single pizza anywhere at anytime from anyone that is cut all the way through.  At first I did not pay it any mind.  At some point it registered.  Then it became an irritant because often when we order pizza, we are out and about.  Being a writer, I lug enough around as it is so I do not come prepared with a butcher knife or pizza cutter on my person as a daily routine.    

Obviously ripped pizza and messy cheese is not the end of the world.  In the big scheme of anything uncut pizza is totally meaningless.  Still I have to ask what the hell is wrong with these people here?  Are they just not getting enough oxygen?  I have never seen such bland and boring hum-drum people in my life and apparently it reflects in their ability to cut a pizza through.  I mean how much effort does it take?  It can't be that everyone has dull knives, can it?

The last time I ordered pizza it was from a nice family owned Italian restaurant in Salt Lake City.  I had ordered from them once in the recent past and they were off the chain delicious.  The pizza was simply fabulous.  The mozzarella was the good stuff and when melted was still thick and oozing.  It was so outstanding that the fact that it was not cut through was fleeting and unimportant.  To hell with the country's chicken sandwich war between Chic Filet and Popeye's I needed to eat Z. Brothers pizza again. Yesterday I purposely found myself in the same area of SLC and obviously ordered their pizza again. 

This time when I called I remembered to ask " Oh could you please make sure the pizza is sliced all the way through?"  My question was met with polite silence.  Polite because everyone is polite here in Utah, no matter what.  I waited then asked again.  "Could you please make sure the pizza is sliced all the way through?"  To which the weak voice said "You want it double cut?"
  
OK.  Now I am irritated.  This is a thing here?  They have a name for it?  What the hell.  So I say "Look I don't care how many times you have to slice through it I just want the pizza cut into slices like normal people do it all around the country.  I don't want you to outline where I am supposed to cut it when I get the pizza at home.  I don't want to roll the dough, put the sauce and cheese on it, or bake or cut it through.  I want y'all to do it which is why I am at home calling you on the phone and paying you money to make the pizza and bring it to me."
Pause
"Do you want the pizza double cut?"