Lucy Lou, Rosemary, Lorraine and I are hushed, very still and straining our ears to hear. Lying on our bellies at the top balcony we hear mother and dad but can't be seen.
They are not arguing per say but having a complete disagreement on something serious my mom wants to do. And dad is dead set against it. Every time he replies back to her all my sisters give me the fish eye because I start cracking up.
My mother wants plastic surgery.
She is a very young middle age and certainly does not need it. She wants it. She was reading about Joan Rivers in People magazine and is stuck in her head.
As they go back and forth my father's common outlook and balance make clear sense to me. Then he leaves the room with final words.
"Slim. You don't need a face lift. You're a good lookin woman. You just need to loose about a hundred pounds or so and you will be fine. You don't have any wrinkles."
Well, mom did it anyway. My aunt takes her and brings her home. The day after surgery dad returns from a business trip and is horrified to see mother bandaged up, sore and hurting.
After mother is asleep in their room dad takes us out for roasted prime rib. Lucy brings up the subject of the face-lift. Dad looks at her and says.
"That sure looks painful what she did to herself. Doesn't it? And it makes no sense what so ever. I don't want to hurt her feelins but for corns sake!
A balloon does not have any wrinkles!"
A LTTLE BIT OF IVEY
