A clumsy oaf doesn't any where near cover just how ungraceful, I am.
I once dated a man who told me in exasperation after I bounced off some piece of furniture, "Ivey Mae you need to be more deliberate in your movements." Hhhhhmmmmpf. I'll make sure to keep that in mind.
My parents have lovely daughters but graceful, dainty and soft spoken, we are not. Let me give you a few examples.
Lucy brought her high school dance team to the floor in one fell swoop. The young ladies were dancing in a circle with their arms intertwined. She lost her footing but held on tight. Then, hollered as she pulled them all down at once.
We can't just fall. We have to alert even those who aren't looking when we hit the ground.
They don't come any sweeter than my petite sister Rosemary. Her size made her the perfect choice to portray ET in a school play. This is what her Drama class thought. They should have asked one of us.
So imagine. The grand finale for the end of the year production. ET has 'phoned home' and is on his way. As he takes flight between the bulky costume, klutz gene, and impeded vision, instead of soaring off safe into the horizon...... ET landed in the orchestra pit with a rebel yell.
Lorraine was dancing a solo in the junior high Christmas Gala. This is a yearly event so the auditorium is always full. Twinkling blue lights swirl the room and Winter wonderland plays in the air.
The music slowly softens. A spot light shoots out. All heads turn to see my sister, an enchanting snowflake. Her frosted beauty held the crowd spell-bound as she glided down the center isle of the grand venue. Then, she slipped and yelled "Oh shit" as she hit the floor. My mother was thrilled. Not a good car ride home, for anyone.
OK I may not have been a straight A student, like all of my sisters. And it took me twenty eight years to get a two year degree. But at least I had sense enough not to get on a stage.
A LTTLE BIT OF IVEY
