Oh this here is a big surprise.
Following several rounds of disagreement over who is driving on the road trip I had to tell her she was elderly and a bit unsafe. Which is why I was offering to drive her in the first place.
She thinks age trumps everything. She is wrong.
Just because you have lived a long time doesn't mean you can weave in and out of the lanes and go forty miles an hour on the turnpike in the far left lane.
Finally "No mother. I am driving."
After insulting me, my children and my dogs she calls back.
"OK Ivey Mae.'' she says completely disgusted.
"Call me at seven o'clock and pick me up at ten. And not a minute late. You all eat a little bowl of cereal and tell the girls to use the bathroom because we are not stopping."
Morning comes and we pull through her drive just as rain starts plopping on the windshield in big wet drops. Great. Then in unison the twins groan aloud. "Oh no mommie! Please don't let her wear that!" Hayley takes it a bit further. "I am not going if she wears that."
Here she comes, my mother. Laundry basket in hand, which is her version of a suitcase. Smile on face. Shower cap on head.
Jumping out to help her. She stops dead in her tracks and stares at my flowing floral shirt, that I chose carefully, knowing she would approve of the t-shirt underneath providing complete modesty. And says
"Well damn Ivey Mae why are you wearin your nightgown?" Before I can answer she adds "And I sure hope you didn't put on any of your stinky perfume because that will just make me car sick."
And we're off! Wait till she finds out we didn't eat a little bowl of cereal.
