Swinging back and forth in the hammock I am no where to be found as my mind wallows in worry. Staring at the clear blue horizon my focus is beyond the twisting mangroves, miles unto the ocean.
Vacation or not, I simply can not relax. I know something is terribly terribly wrong. Checking for the countless time over the last couple of weeks, I close my eyes, while placing a finger in each ear to drown outside noise. Yep, no doubt about it, ringin in my ear.
Then, something snaps me from my desperate worry and I open my eyes to see Dad standing on the top step, leading from the house. He is staring at me in concern.
"Ivey Mae, why don't you just call the doctor. Leave the babies here with us and drive back to Miami. Have you ear checked out and then you can have some fun. "
As usual Dad is right.
The appointment reveals a few things. Bad news is I have tinnitus in one ear and the condition will most likely stay there for the rest of my life. Good news is, this is a very mild case, should not worsen and my hearing is excellent. The latter is really positive info because once I get used to it, my good hearing should mask the slight distant ringing.
So for the drive home, I am most certainly relieved and ready to fully participate in the family vacation. Here I come. And like always, I call Lucy Lou.
"Hello" she answers, sounding just like me, and all of our other sisters. I quickly recant the doctor visit, to this reply,
"God Ivey Mae, why do you do this to yourself? Must you insist on imagining the absolute worst first? How can this be good for you? So you convince yourself you have a brain tumor and are facing a horribly painful and crippling end of life over something much less complicated and life threatening."
"That's true. That's exactly what I thought. Why else would I have ringing in only one ear? I thought if it was simple in would be in both ears."
"OK, so now that you found out you will just have ringing in your ear the rest of your life.......you feel better."
"Right."
